Thursday, September 8, 2011
today
I'm not sure exactly what to call what happened today. In the beginning i'll admit i was a bit skeptical of the whole process. I was a bit tentative about putting such personal materials on display for the school to see, heck if the words weren't so vague i would still be tentative about putting them up. I dont think of myself as a guarded person exactly, but when it comes to my art i'm usually very sensitive about my feelings. It's hard for me to be sincere, that much i know. I'm not sure why, maybe it's a lack of trust, maybe i'm afraid of being hurt again, if i knew the reason then i wouldnt be in this predicament, But i digress. I liked the fact that whenever i made a reason for liking an aspect of my art, another larger reason for liking my art came into focus, like a controlling aspect, what i strive to achieve through art. It all led to happiness and i was happy with it. Isnt it what everyone is striving for anyway? isn't it why people do art so they can achieve some sort of happiness or self satisfaction ( a form of happiness). it makes sense why im happiest while doing my art, because my sole goal is to make myself happy.
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"It's hard for me to be sincere, that much i know. I'm not sure why, maybe it's a lack of trust, maybe i'm afraid of being hurt again, if i knew the reason then i wouldnt be in this predicament"
ReplyDeleteFor a person who finds it difficult to be sincere, this is a very sincere statement. So I guess there is hope, huh?
Now, this sincerity issue. First of all, divorce sincerity from the concept of being a good person, lest you confuse a simple problem with a fatal flaw. You're a good person, and sincerity is an issue of expression, not of he material of being.
You've stumbled upon your acting problem. Do you realize that?
You know how in movies, they say when you want to find the criminal, "Follow the money?" Well, for things like this thing you've found, I say, "Follow the fear."
Do you understand what you have to do?
To be honest, not entirely, but I want to work at it. It's easy to be sincere to a computer, it wont talk back at you. I want to learn to put myself fully into my acting, not just play a character but embody a character. "Follow the fear" in a way this makes sense to me. I read that phrase at least 5 times over. I hit me, but not enough to fully understand how to follow it.
ReplyDeleteIt is a guide. You're not suppose to understand a guide; a guide is suppose to be in front of you and lead you, not walk beside you.
ReplyDeleteIn what way does it make sense to you? Remember, it might not make sense as words; it might only make sense as art, as image.
After reading this blog, the part about sincerity, I was thinking the exact same thing as Luke about the acting problem. I just read the comment so I don't just want to repeat what he said. In the most loving and constructive way I've noticed with you Alex the only thing that stops you from being great in acting is the inability to be honest with your work, your character that you play. Living truthfully in imaginary circumstances. Even for me this is the ultimate and hardest goal to achieve.
ReplyDelete"Even for me this is the ultimate and hardest goal to achieve."
ReplyDeleteHeck in real life this is just about impossible to achieve, and harder still on the stage. But we will work on it. All together.